Wednesday, February 02, 2011

Leaving...the tears overfloweth :)

A Confession--if you haven't heard, I'm not a huge fan of flying.  I know some people LOVE it!  Right now I'm not one of those people--but here's to hoping that I will be! :)

And for the plane-lovers, I know this might sound a little crazy--but it is one of my little rough spots to overcome.  There is nothing quite like a flight away from the people I love to make me face my own mortality.  A bit dramatic, yes, but I think that the perspective that comes from it can be helpful. :)

Anyway, I've been feeling sentimental (I come by it honest, right Mom and Dad?) around here for the past few weeks.  A good thing mostly--out of that comes extra patience (not always, but more often than not--right, J? :), a few extra snuggles and taking the time to really hear what M and T are saying.

For months I've been collecting little gifts for M and T to open each day that we're away.  Last night I wrote a little note for each one of them to open with each gift (that's 18 notes if you're counting :).  Then I bundled them together with a daily count-down note.  Fun!




Then after that I totally soaked through the sleeves of my shirt as I wrote that just-in-case note for them.  Ugh.  So, my thoughts on this.  There are very few for-sures in the life.  But I do know that someday I will indeed die.  I really hope that it's when I'm an old, old woman surrounded by children and grand-children and great-grand-children. ;)  Anyway, but in case that's now how the future looks, I would love for M and T and any other children that join our family along the way to have some special words written just for them.  I want them to know my hopes and dreams for them (not just in their memories of things I say to them) but written down so that they can always know my heart for them.  And to know what a privilege I count it to me their mommy and how proud I am of them.  Having that done feels so good!  Whew! :)

All of this said, I am feeling surprisingly more excited than anything else.  I mean, what better reason to fly?!  Hardly feeling apprehensive at all--yay!  :)

Oh, yeah, and besides the whole facing my fears stuff, there has also been the emotional weight of putting together a photo album for little girl's birth family and then writing a letter to give them full of our hopes and dreams for her as well as expressing our almost incommunicable gratitude for the gift of the honor of being her parents  (J actually took that task on).  Thankfully all of that is done now, too.

Alright, enough of the sentimentality--today I move onto really packing!

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