Saturday, December 05, 2009

My Heart on the Outside

Hmmm...there are so many deep thoughts that continually run through my head as we go through the adoption process.

Much like when we were expecting M and T my mind was pretty much always preoccupied with their anticipated arrival and all that comes with that. Both M and T were so desired and they came into our family relatively quickly. The new member of our family has been in my heart for just as long as they have been.

I remember a precious moment when M was maybe 10-months-old. She was all snuggled up in a towel after a bath and I marveled at how cool it was that I got to watch her grow. I knew her from before she came screaming into our lives--and I had the awesome privilege of being able to stay at home with her each day--to be a part of almost every moment of her early life.

And even then, my heart was with a future part of our family who would come from far away. As I watched M that day I also thought that it was such a blessing that my little daughter could show me what it looked like to be a baby--from a bumpy lump in my belly to a tenacious toddler--I was getting to see through her what I would miss in the life of the little person who I couldn't wait to be a part of our family.

They say that when your child is born it is like a little piece of your heart walking around outside of your body. I can not wait to meet that part of my heart that has been with me for so long.

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